A few quickie updates for now (I promise to splurge shortly)...
1. I may have pink eye...god damn lovely!
2. I am most unimpressed that the Stormers lost on Saturday...I am left asking, why?!?
3. I have a thing for someone in my office...many a copy machine fantasy has been dreamed up, multiple scenarios are played, replayed and paused in my head...*it's exciting and brings new meaning to the words, scan, copy and fax...who needs a vibrator when you've got a copy machine, buttons and images all inclusive*
4. I will never make a move on him...*sad, realistic fact*
5. I watched the Kendra vs. Kim Kardashian sex tape fiasco competition thing today...Kendra's wins hands down!
6. Both sex tapes are revolting and a poor excuse to claim fame and even more money!
7. I wish Crystal could have won American Idols - she may have had dreadlocks but she stole the show!
8. Vampire Diaries is my crush...I can't live without the Salvatori brothers!
*they say no news is good news...I have nothing further to say or update you on*
Over and out y'all!
KaB
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Old timers...
Remember old school music...the stuff your 13th disco party was made of complete with cool black bag material covering the dark unseen crevices of the garage, the large colourful black and pink sign screaming a glittering happy birthday to you (like the guests had no clue whose party they were at...well... that wouldn't be a first actually)...the robot disco lights blinking to the beat and the deejay i.e. your dad/ mom and sister playing the sickest tunes of the 90s!
My colleagues and I decided to take a trip down memory lane yesterday and downloaded all the life-changing, necessary growing up songs that we could guilt our disco grooving feet into! Check out some of these winners:
All that she wants - Ace of Base
I saw the sign - Ace of Base
Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
Pump up the jam - Technotronics
Acky Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (a sorry excuse for country)
Macarena - Los Del Rio (this actually is still a lot of fun and had *Plaas Boy grooving away a la Paarl style in the office)
Mm'Bop - Hanson (*this song scared the bejaysus out of my ears*)
No limit - 2 Unlimited (*we actually nearly broke our necks trying to go along with the beat*...must be getting old!)
Saturday Night - Whigfield (*still sucks*)
Sexy Eyes - Whigfield (*still sucks*)
I'll make love to you - Boyz II Men (*wtf...shut up*)
I swear - All 4 One (*the stuff made for slow dancing...remember those*)
Can't touch this - MC Hammer (*still a winner according to Andre Visagie and the etv studio*)
Slave to the music - Twenty 4 Seven
Wannabe - Spice Girls (*pass*)
Backstreet Boys - I want it that way
Black and White - Michael Jackson
Wicked Game - Chris Isaaks (*what a great song...always a winner*)
Barbie Girl - Aqua (*bubblegum witkak*)
Lemon Tree - Fool's Garden
To the moon and back - Savage Garden
And a little bit of the older vibe that you can't go wrong with...
Club Tropicana - Wham
Don't you forget about me - Simple Minds (*probably one of the best songs of all time...and movies*...Breakfast Club is THE cult movie*)
Ma Baker - Boney M
Thriller - The King of Pop
Material Girl - Madonna
Funkytown - Lipps Inc.
Ride Like The Wind - Cristopher Cross
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Any tunes that you hold dear to your heart and still can't live without...remind me, I'm sure it'll be cringeworthy stuff!!!
Over and out y'all!
KaB
Piss: off to London for the weekend...big work party conference thing...am sure there'll be plenty of goss to fill you in on :)
My colleagues and I decided to take a trip down memory lane yesterday and downloaded all the life-changing, necessary growing up songs that we could guilt our disco grooving feet into! Check out some of these winners:
All that she wants - Ace of Base
I saw the sign - Ace of Base
Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
Pump up the jam - Technotronics
Acky Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (a sorry excuse for country)
Macarena - Los Del Rio (this actually is still a lot of fun and had *Plaas Boy grooving away a la Paarl style in the office)
Mm'Bop - Hanson (*this song scared the bejaysus out of my ears*)
No limit - 2 Unlimited (*we actually nearly broke our necks trying to go along with the beat*...must be getting old!)
Saturday Night - Whigfield (*still sucks*)
Sexy Eyes - Whigfield (*still sucks*)
I'll make love to you - Boyz II Men (*wtf...shut up*)
I swear - All 4 One (*the stuff made for slow dancing...remember those*)
Can't touch this - MC Hammer (*still a winner according to Andre Visagie and the etv studio*)
Slave to the music - Twenty 4 Seven
Wannabe - Spice Girls (*pass*)
Backstreet Boys - I want it that way
Black and White - Michael Jackson
Wicked Game - Chris Isaaks (*what a great song...always a winner*)
Barbie Girl - Aqua (*bubblegum witkak*)
Lemon Tree - Fool's Garden
To the moon and back - Savage Garden
And a little bit of the older vibe that you can't go wrong with...
Club Tropicana - Wham
Don't you forget about me - Simple Minds (*probably one of the best songs of all time...and movies*...Breakfast Club is THE cult movie*)
Ma Baker - Boney M
Thriller - The King of Pop
Material Girl - Madonna
Funkytown - Lipps Inc.
Ride Like The Wind - Cristopher Cross
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Any tunes that you hold dear to your heart and still can't live without...remind me, I'm sure it'll be cringeworthy stuff!!!
Over and out y'all!
KaB
Piss: off to London for the weekend...big work party conference thing...am sure there'll be plenty of goss to fill you in on :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
The wicked witch next door...
Ever felt like slashing your neighbour's tyres or maybe even just planting sneaky piles of dog pooh outside their front door to 'surprise' them in the morning...it's a sure way to make someone's start to the day a very bad one indeed!
I've had those thoughts...this weekend! I'll set the scene:
I was just coming home from the rugger and was parking my car when the neighbour's common friends arrive at their house and proceed to drop a huge bottle of booze on the pavement outside our driveway and they continue to obliviously walk away without cleaning it up...of course the street fairy will do a fly-by and wave her magic wand...um no...what world do these morons live in?!?
So I proceed to call the boss aka my mom who would of course play the good neighbour card and request, very nicely I might add, that they clean up the glass so that tyres don't burst, dogs don't limp away with glassy paws and that the neighbour's kids don't run around in the stuff (let's be honest...kids are stupid that way). The debacle ensued as follows:
Boss: hi there nice neighbour, I see you're having a rather awesome party to celebrate the Stormers win today (insert: so am I *hiccup*) but your friends did the following (insert broken bottle story above).
(sidebar: the chick who was part of the bottle-smashing trio was standing right there)
The Witch: how the hell do you know that it's my friends and what are you talking about?
Boss: *noting that the neighbour was being quite rude and defensive*...well my daughter was coming home and saw it happen just now
The Witch: well show me where this is
(sidebar: the stupid cow who broke the glass now tries to divert the attention of said witch to stop her from going to the scene of the crime...she was obviously not wanting to confess)
Boss: please come and look, I would appreciate it (nudges the neighbour slightly on elbow)
The Witch: DON'T PUSH ME!
The Witch: (now turning to me) how do you know it was my friends
KaB: (pointing directly at the stupid cow) well it was her, she was the one who did it!
I feel very Scarlett Letter at this stage!!!
Stupid Cow: um...um...*belch*...oh ja, it was so and so when they were on their way inside your house!
Boss: well it doesn't really matter who it was and I don't want to point the finger of blame but please can you just get someone to clean this up so that nobody gets hurt later on!
The Witch agrees to cleaning it up and fetches her broom...*hysterical*
Come 2 mins later I'm outside checking that a door is locked and she looks at me, points her broom in my direction and slurs away through an abusive turn of events:
The Witch: you see, I've got my broom and am cleaning up this shit!
Me: well thank you, it's just that the neighbour's kids and the dogs *don't get to finish my sentence*
The Witch: don't you tell me about whose kids play outside here, you don't have kids (*for a good fucking reason you stupid sloppy bitch*) and my kids fucking play out here, not yours...*insert abusive language*
I just closed the door...who the hell wants to get into a fight with a stroppy, common cow who has no class...how rude!
I'd like to know who let the sloppy moron onto our street...surely you have to pass a class test or something?!?
Bleh...maybe a twister can come round and dump a house on her or something...that'd be nice!
*happy thoughts*
Over and out y'all!
KaB
I've had those thoughts...this weekend! I'll set the scene:
I was just coming home from the rugger and was parking my car when the neighbour's common friends arrive at their house and proceed to drop a huge bottle of booze on the pavement outside our driveway and they continue to obliviously walk away without cleaning it up...of course the street fairy will do a fly-by and wave her magic wand...um no...what world do these morons live in?!?
So I proceed to call the boss aka my mom who would of course play the good neighbour card and request, very nicely I might add, that they clean up the glass so that tyres don't burst, dogs don't limp away with glassy paws and that the neighbour's kids don't run around in the stuff (let's be honest...kids are stupid that way). The debacle ensued as follows:
Boss: hi there nice neighbour, I see you're having a rather awesome party to celebrate the Stormers win today (insert: so am I *hiccup*) but your friends did the following (insert broken bottle story above).
(sidebar: the chick who was part of the bottle-smashing trio was standing right there)
The Witch: how the hell do you know that it's my friends and what are you talking about?
Boss: *noting that the neighbour was being quite rude and defensive*...well my daughter was coming home and saw it happen just now
The Witch: well show me where this is
(sidebar: the stupid cow who broke the glass now tries to divert the attention of said witch to stop her from going to the scene of the crime...she was obviously not wanting to confess)
Boss: please come and look, I would appreciate it (nudges the neighbour slightly on elbow)
The Witch: DON'T PUSH ME!
The Witch: (now turning to me) how do you know it was my friends
KaB: (pointing directly at the stupid cow) well it was her, she was the one who did it!
I feel very Scarlett Letter at this stage!!!
Stupid Cow: um...um...*belch*...oh ja, it was so and so when they were on their way inside your house!
Boss: well it doesn't really matter who it was and I don't want to point the finger of blame but please can you just get someone to clean this up so that nobody gets hurt later on!
The Witch agrees to cleaning it up and fetches her broom...*hysterical*
Come 2 mins later I'm outside checking that a door is locked and she looks at me, points her broom in my direction and slurs away through an abusive turn of events:
The Witch: you see, I've got my broom and am cleaning up this shit!
Me: well thank you, it's just that the neighbour's kids and the dogs *don't get to finish my sentence*
The Witch: don't you tell me about whose kids play outside here, you don't have kids (*for a good fucking reason you stupid sloppy bitch*) and my kids fucking play out here, not yours...*insert abusive language*
I just closed the door...who the hell wants to get into a fight with a stroppy, common cow who has no class...how rude!
I'd like to know who let the sloppy moron onto our street...surely you have to pass a class test or something?!?
Bleh...maybe a twister can come round and dump a house on her or something...that'd be nice!
*happy thoughts*
Over and out y'all!
KaB
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
My heart is in my vagina...
Meredith Grey recently said “you can’t have sex with a man without having feelings for him…your heart is in your vagina!” Well one of the best series ever made just summed up the simplicity of a woman in 6 words…your heart is in your vagina!
Who needs therapy?
Rebounds?
A one night stand?
Women cannot have meaningless sex with a man, well this is what I believe anyway…I highly doubt that a women can walk away feeling pumped up full of ego, arrogance and a McSteamy way of thinking…charming smile, swagger and bad girl complex does not bode well with the female sex – it does not look good on us…well not as good as a pair of skinny jeans and fuck me heels do, that’s for sure!
Cat’s out the bag…I’ve never had a one night stand! This is pretty much out of fear for what I may be getting my sorry set of emotions involved in…I’ve done the 3 week fling and 4am booty calls and it certainly sent my knees wobbling and toes curling in pure ecstasy but nothing was more exciting than knowing I had my guy at home, the same guy I’d have multiple times over and over in however many months *and ways*– that’s a turn on in itself and where my emotions were blinded for a few months my heart soared for what felt like years! I’d like to think that my vajay-jay knew what it was getting into at the time but my heart was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time!
Society would call me a prude…Samantha a la Sex and the City would probably equate my sexual experience to that of a nun *well in her sex terms that is* but I wouldn’t trade in my ‘vagina’ for a random night of sex even if it were Stefan Salvadore or god forbid, a freak bump in the night with my ex. Okay wait…I may just let the vampire sink his teeth into me, he is quite delicious! But think about it, have you ever walked away after a onetime thing with your emotions in check? There must be some sentiment where you wonder ‘what if’ or ‘should I call him’ or even low and behold you left your phone number and were left waiting for him to dial the forbidden digits! Let’s be honest…he’s only thinking of one digit and it’s not the 10 digit mobile number you left lying hopeless on his side table.
Since I broke up with the man I was hopelessly and helplessly in love with…*note…the term used: was…it took me a long time to hit the past tense button*…my girlfriends have mentioned the ‘rebound’ fling and have urged me to take the initiative and leave with the tall, dark handsome stranger who tickles my fancy – after all, they say the only way to get over someone is to get under another, right! Wrong…a man must have come up with that saying…honestly…do you really believe a few minutes *or in some cases seconds* would change months of heartbreak and wash away the tears that stained your sheets…only a woman would fall for that! I hate to generalize but you’re a fool if you believe that and I don’t believe that a one night stand would make it all feel better! Hence, I’ve not done the rebound fling…I find it quite gross and degrading…my past love doesn’t deserve to be made to ‘feel better’ by some stranger who I’ll probably never see again…it deserves a lot more preservation and respect!
No, Grey had it right…"you can’t have sex with a man without having feelings for him…your heart is in your vagina"…and I’m afraid that’s the case for the fairer of the sexes…we’re destined to wishful thinking, dreamed up scenarios of 2nd, 3rd and 10th dates and low and behold, the day that guy uses the 10-digit number to call you back to ‘get to know you better and take you out for a proper date’. Fantasies…what would women do without them…we’d have an awful lot of time on our hands that we wouldn’t know what to do with…well I can think of one thing!
One night stands or non-emotional sex…call it what you like…would you ever do it or do it again?!?
Over and out y’all!
KaB
Who needs therapy?
Rebounds?
A one night stand?
Women cannot have meaningless sex with a man, well this is what I believe anyway…I highly doubt that a women can walk away feeling pumped up full of ego, arrogance and a McSteamy way of thinking…charming smile, swagger and bad girl complex does not bode well with the female sex – it does not look good on us…well not as good as a pair of skinny jeans and fuck me heels do, that’s for sure!
Cat’s out the bag…I’ve never had a one night stand! This is pretty much out of fear for what I may be getting my sorry set of emotions involved in…I’ve done the 3 week fling and 4am booty calls and it certainly sent my knees wobbling and toes curling in pure ecstasy but nothing was more exciting than knowing I had my guy at home, the same guy I’d have multiple times over and over in however many months *and ways*– that’s a turn on in itself and where my emotions were blinded for a few months my heart soared for what felt like years! I’d like to think that my vajay-jay knew what it was getting into at the time but my heart was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time!
Society would call me a prude…Samantha a la Sex and the City would probably equate my sexual experience to that of a nun *well in her sex terms that is* but I wouldn’t trade in my ‘vagina’ for a random night of sex even if it were Stefan Salvadore or god forbid, a freak bump in the night with my ex. Okay wait…I may just let the vampire sink his teeth into me, he is quite delicious! But think about it, have you ever walked away after a onetime thing with your emotions in check? There must be some sentiment where you wonder ‘what if’ or ‘should I call him’ or even low and behold you left your phone number and were left waiting for him to dial the forbidden digits! Let’s be honest…he’s only thinking of one digit and it’s not the 10 digit mobile number you left lying hopeless on his side table.
Since I broke up with the man I was hopelessly and helplessly in love with…*note…the term used: was…it took me a long time to hit the past tense button*…my girlfriends have mentioned the ‘rebound’ fling and have urged me to take the initiative and leave with the tall, dark handsome stranger who tickles my fancy – after all, they say the only way to get over someone is to get under another, right! Wrong…a man must have come up with that saying…honestly…do you really believe a few minutes *or in some cases seconds* would change months of heartbreak and wash away the tears that stained your sheets…only a woman would fall for that! I hate to generalize but you’re a fool if you believe that and I don’t believe that a one night stand would make it all feel better! Hence, I’ve not done the rebound fling…I find it quite gross and degrading…my past love doesn’t deserve to be made to ‘feel better’ by some stranger who I’ll probably never see again…it deserves a lot more preservation and respect!
No, Grey had it right…"you can’t have sex with a man without having feelings for him…your heart is in your vagina"…and I’m afraid that’s the case for the fairer of the sexes…we’re destined to wishful thinking, dreamed up scenarios of 2nd, 3rd and 10th dates and low and behold, the day that guy uses the 10-digit number to call you back to ‘get to know you better and take you out for a proper date’. Fantasies…what would women do without them…we’d have an awful lot of time on our hands that we wouldn’t know what to do with…well I can think of one thing!
One night stands or non-emotional sex…call it what you like…would you ever do it or do it again?!?
Over and out y’all!
KaB
Friday, May 7, 2010
A full diary...
Oh imagine the joys of having the pleasure of being pleasured by one of these gentlemen...I am ever thankful that the WC game I've got tickets to will more than likely play host to Spain vs. Portugal if the tables go according to the bookies' favourites!
Best I rearrange my schedule for these bad boys - it gives beauty sleep a new meaning :)
Over and out!
KaB
Best I rearrange my schedule for these bad boys - it gives beauty sleep a new meaning :)
Over and out!
KaB
Thursday, May 6, 2010
pickadate.co.za
Right, this blog is stagnant and boring and I have just the ticket to take me back to funky town...365 dates in 365 days. Pretty cool concept with very exciting prospects...what you think?!?
It hasn't been done before and it's pretty much a recipe for fun and social disaster but eh...what else is a single girl going to do to get 'sex in the city'?!? Trick is to get this ball rolling via networking and spamming the hell out of friends, foes and god knows who else...the more you click, the more viable the date I suppose. And let's be honest...I don't want no frog or Prince Charming for that matter - by george you saw what he looked like in Shrek - you have the control, so get clicking! You get to choose who I date each night and I get to report back with no strings attached and the morning after, no holding back and spilling all the details on what not to wear or who not to do on a date in the city.
We need eligible bachelors...men...guys...you know the type! Send their details...hook them up...bring it on! If anything, it's just a fun social experiment that could go either really, really bad or end up on the lucky 4th date (it is universally known that the 4th date is the key to a women's chastity belt...well, apparently) and you get to watch, prod, comment and click on it all.
Know anyone man enough to make the first move?!? You've got to apply via 365 dates in 365 days to get it on...watch this space for more info!
Over and out.
KaB
It hasn't been done before and it's pretty much a recipe for fun and social disaster but eh...what else is a single girl going to do to get 'sex in the city'?!? Trick is to get this ball rolling via networking and spamming the hell out of friends, foes and god knows who else...the more you click, the more viable the date I suppose. And let's be honest...I don't want no frog or Prince Charming for that matter - by george you saw what he looked like in Shrek - you have the control, so get clicking! You get to choose who I date each night and I get to report back with no strings attached and the morning after, no holding back and spilling all the details on what not to wear or who not to do on a date in the city.
We need eligible bachelors...men...guys...you know the type! Send their details...hook them up...bring it on! If anything, it's just a fun social experiment that could go either really, really bad or end up on the lucky 4th date (it is universally known that the 4th date is the key to a women's chastity belt...well, apparently) and you get to watch, prod, comment and click on it all.
Know anyone man enough to make the first move?!? You've got to apply via 365 dates in 365 days to get it on...watch this space for more info!
Over and out.
KaB
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