**a new blog address**

Hello peoples...followers...other worldly folk...wherever you are...if you're keen to keep track of my internal GPS in the following weeks...go here http://kabtalk.posterous.com/

It's my new bloggie home...way cooler I think!

See you there :)

KaB

My letter to the Editor in this morning's Cape Times...

Viva Gibbs!

Over and out

KaB

Monsters and credit cards!

At what stage do you draw the line when faced with one of your worst nightmares…I mean, it’s so bad the world is going to end?!?

Adventure shopping is by all means probably one of the most exciting forms of shopping for an inexperienced, eager little backpacker like myself  BUT when faced with one of my life’s treacherous discoveries , the ‘adventurous’ side of me crawled into a little black hole and wished to be sucked into outer space!

*Enter: 10X hand-sized tarantulas…1m away from my paralyzed body and there was NO hole in sight!

What the f-word where they thinking?!? Why, why would Cape Union Mart serve a platter of reality check when I’m dreaming of matching backpacks and hiking shoes with cute little first aid kits and plastic waterproofing bags?!? I mean, here I’m thinking ‘oh goodie, my 10X lip glossies will fit into that little bag in that pack while my Swiss Army Knife will go nicely in that one over there’ when BHAM…10X tarantulas lay in wait for my unsuspecting phobia.

I know you’re probably sitting there wondering…’how is this chick going to cope in South America on a continent riddled with creepy crawlies?!?’ but this is a question I’ll answer midair across the Atlantic Ocean…not while at the ready to swipe credit cards.

Unfortunately, the salesman took the brunt of my fear and was bombarded with ‘what the f-word do you have these here for, are you out of your…why…what…when…but I was here the other day…*can’t breathe, struggling to think blah blah blah’…you get the picture.

Bless his checkered shirt he handled it like the jungle man that he is and directed me in the opposite direction of the 8-eyed evil monsters of doom. Smart move…he had me eating out of his hands what with the sleeping bags, rad backpacks and funky outdoorsy things that I need! Perhaps a stupid move on my part, a few thousands of ronds later, I was yet again the happy little adventurous shopaholic I once was…having lived on the ‘wild side’ for just those few moments, I now realise that I have a rather large problem ahead of me.

Wonder if the jungle man would fit into my backpack…he could be a useful ‘tool’ in hair-raising situations!

Am still baffled that Cape Union Mart would do that to customers…scare them into oblivion and have their little worker bees pounce on money-spending, phobia-ridden freaks. They have quite obviously stepped up the sales game…*sneaky little puff adders!

And so the pre journey continues...tickets are being booked this weekend, gear is being bought and celebrations will be had! I am drenched in excitement...I cannot begin to describe it!

Over and out y'all!

KaB

As every Monday goes...

Why yes, I have! Along with feeling horribly vomitty and disgusting I have paid a visit to the Toilet Monster and planted a big phat hug round his cold, lonely self!

And now I want to go home and hug my own personal toilet..far more hygienic thanks!

I feel like crap...I have no words!

G'bye!

KaB

Living la vida loca

So, after many a day and night of squeezing the proverbial lid shut on my super duper news, I feel the need to burst through the doors of excitement and scream at the top of my lungs…

Voy a América del Sur, bebé!

FYI: Google says that that means ‘I’m going to South America, baby!’

*Surprise

*Cue: castanets (I know that's Spanish as in Spain but they speak Spanish in South America so anyway), Mexican party hats, tango dancing and Rio Carnivals. Can you hear the music?!?

I can just about see myself walking through the streets of Buenos Aires in search of a tango dancing lesson complete with a Diego Somebody – my imagination says he looks like Luc a la Brothers and Sisters thrown in with a bit of Antonia Banderas’ sex appeal…mmm, yummy…and I’m never coming home!

It all started one day when a friend of mine mentioned her travels and the adventurous voice inside of me screamed ‘GO…GO…GO’! And with a little bit of research and emails going back and forth re: where the hell are we going to sleep and what brand of shoe should I buy…I have finally leaped into the adventurous unknown and am swopping my career-girl stilettos for 1X pair of hiking tekkies…temporarily of course!

The parental unit look back at me with raised eyebrows every time I mention it, I mirror their disapproval with ‘why the hell not?!?’

I’m 26 years old…completely unattached and with no responsibilities in the world (except for my kitty cat, car bills, phone bills, medical aid bills and and and)…why the heck should I sit in an office day in and day out dreading the likes of awful traffic EVERY morning? Before I know it, I’ll be eaten alive by Bridget Jones’ Alsatians and life will have whizzed by at the speed of ‘nobody can even remember’! The dad is worried about safety, bar this and he’s excited about the prospects – wonder if he knows my prospecting stems to luscious lips, thick curly dark hair, deep chocolatey brown eyes and a libido that even Dirk Diggler would be jealous of...now that would be livin' la vida loca, right?!? The mom on the other hand, would have kept me locked tight in her womb had she been given the chance! She hates to see her offspring wonder the world without a clue in sight.

But then again, I’m their daughter and if they were normal I wouldn’t be making such a risqué leap. I mean, my folks are rockers for goodness sake…they even dabbled in hippiedom for a while…these people led the risk revolution back in the heyday of Springs (Gauteng)! Me, going to South America is a walk in the park in comparison!

So right now, I’m planning the smallest of details…right down to:

What size backpack (and make) to use. Did you know that you get 50L, 65L and 80L packs. Apparently the 80L can take up to 80kgs –my question to the salesman was ‘what the hell would anyone want to carry that amount of weight on their back for?!?’ I think he thought I was a moron…what with my pretty little summery dress, make up, perfectly in place hairdo and cutsie little fashionable sandals!

Brands of tekkies – Apparently your backpack size and weight effects the sole/ rubber of the shoe so you have to take this all into consideration before you even buy the damn things! And here I was thinking about colour matching and looking all girly what with the purple/ safari green backpack and pink themed hiking boots…now I have to think about practicalities…ohemgee! I’ve already broken a sweat just thinking about it again!

Next are shots…I need to have shots for Yellow Fever, Hep B, Rabies (because I’m going to be working on animal projects in the Amazon potentiall…yay me!) and possibly for one or two other weird jungle type diseases. So when do I mention that I hate needles?!?’

There is just so much to do it’s far too exciting for words…and every time I have to do them I take a step in the direction of South America. We start in Cusco, Peru on the Inca Trail, for now at least! And of course more wonderful tales and imaginary escapades will be shared before and during my jungle-ridden, party-driven, wine-infested adventures! I intend to write, write, write about everything!

More to follow!

Have a wonderful weekend y’all…think big, do big and be great!

Oh, and one more thing…go PROVINCE! Come on boys!!!

Over & out


KaB

Some lendin' and some lovin'...

Doin' a bit more lendin' today...I love me my daily dose of 'Being Brazen'...and after replying to her blog post, thought I'd let y'all know as well!

Why not, eh?!?

1. Today I feel...slightly drunk! Quick jug-o-margarita at Fat Cactus for lunch has sent me tipsy and wanting to either go straight to bed or right back to the Cactus for rounds 2, 3 and 10!

2. Last night I...watched 'My sister's keeper' again...and cried, again!

3. What's the best thing that happened this week? I was told that my company would give me an extended leave of absence so that I may go backpacking through South America for 3 months from Dec onwards...totally shocked and surprised, extremely happy as well cos I like my life and don't want to see it change while away!

4. Right now I would really like...to write, write and write some more! I want to write for a living, publish children's books, fun, fearless, female columns and just know that I'm super happy doing what I love most! Come to think of it, I'd also like to be kerfooflin with a super hot gentleman stranger Argentinian tango-dancing polo-playing sex machine...mmm...soon, perhaps?!?

5. Describe yourself in one word, quote or lyric: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!" - Patrick Swayze a la Dirty Dancing...I don't shut up, don't listen to people and certainly do not like being the one in the corner! Bring on the shexy time dancing with studs like Johnny Castle! *am already singing along to...'Had the time of my life!' accompanied by smoothe moves and wiggling hips!

6. Do you dress up for halloween? Gawd no...not my thing although I do like to celebrate...so will be celebrating halloween :)

*goodie...that was fun! Now, if only I could wash this down with a bit of margarita mix, the day would be way more fun!
 
Rock the funbus y'all and have a margie while doing so :)
 
Over & out
 
KaB

Food for thought

My name is Keighley and I eat meat *cue shameful, guilt-ridden anonymous greetings. Welcome to my version of ‘meat-eaters rehab’. Where I have been involved in group discussions, visits to the snack counter and countless glasses of white wine to wash the topic of conversation down, I still remain carnivorous and constantly fight an internal battle of ethics, choice, hypocrisy and tantalizing taste buds.

Typically South African, I was born and bred on the staple diet of Saturday afternoon braais served with an entrée of rugby matches and yummy treats like biltong and boerewors rolls. Growing up I was more interested in riding my pink BMX, playing Marco Polo in the pool and dressing my Barbie dolls to never  question the food my folks put on the table (it was usually healthy, they never encouraged fast foods and so it’s never been a favourite of mine…thank goodness). Enter a very close friend, a very interesting book and a more informed conscience, and I now face the proverbial mountain of ethical eating.

I’ve heard people say that a book has changed their lives and for the most part, have generally thought that they must be easily swayed by a few pages but as fate would have it, I find myself saying the exact same thing nowadays. Jonathan Safran Foer’s  ‘Eating Animals’ is pretty much the story of why he does and doesn’t eat meat combined with years of research and pages of opinions from all sorts of interesting people both involved in and outside of the food industry. After reading the book and through some independent research, I am shocked that the lid has been kept on a ‘heated’ industry that continues to steer the inhumane treatment of animals, and remains one of the most lucrative forms of business in today’s day and age. To be honest, I still eat meat BUT I am far more conscious of what I’m eating, where it comes from and how often I eat it. I no longer eat chicken and have not for months, barely touch pork and only rarely eat beef and lamb. I am slowly turning a blind eye to meat, do not eat it in restaurants (at all) and continue to test my habits through days of eating only vegetables and fruits, which surprisingly always remain yummy and scrumptious.

For me, the change has come in the form of the treatment of animals. To say that I am an animal lover is an understatement, and after reading ‘Eating Animals’ I have never been more exposed to the true meaning of eating meat than I was during the time of reading this book. I was, and still am, mortified. What gives you and me the right to eat animals? Most fall back on, and genuinely believe that because our ancestors were hunter gatherers, it is in our genes and is intrinsic to our survival. This excuse is not acceptable. Our ancestors did not live in a world where the mass production of our food stems from the backbone of genetically modifying the DNA of cows, chickens, pigs and sheep to cater for increased stocks on supermarket shelves. No, our ancestors battled it out with animals and put their lives on the line so that they could feed their family and tribe. I hardly doubt the roast chicken posed threatening in the middle of the Woolworths aisle when picked from hundreds of exactly packaged birds. And the reasoning of ‘well, we’re at the top of the food chain’ certainly holds no ground because we’ve manipulated an industry into playing God and in producing more and more and more ad infinitum, so in essence we are not at the top of our game! For me, it was a question of truly understanding my, now questionable, eating habits and the uninformed choices I have made throughout my life.  

There are a few more factors that have helped me along my ‘rehabitual’ path such as the hormones pumped into animals, the ways that they are slaughtered to the fake labeling found on so much of our packaging – there really is no watchdog for organic and free range meats…just a little FYI! Thankfully, I feel enlightened and finally understand why more and more people are slowly turning towards the veggie way of life. I’ll be the first to comment that I’m a hypocrite because I continue to eat meat but it’s a fight I have with myself every time my taste buds reawaken at the sight of a medium-rare fillet or the smell of Sunday morning’s breakfast sizzling away a la bacon buttie. But the more and more I take a bite out of reality, the more I’m faced with swallowing the cold, hard facts that what I’m doing is inadvertently supporting a way of life that supersedes the well-being of animals and to do such a thing is tantamount to supporting an industry that so often leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I highly recommend reading ‘Eating Animals’ and conducting a little of your own independent research, if not to stop eating meat, at least having come to that decision knowing full well how animals are treated, the process by which your meal makes its way onto your plate and in the billion dollar industry that we find ourselves unwillingly supporting.

If you're interested in reading about vegetarianism or just the general ins and outs of a healthy lifestyle...where to shop for organic products and the who's who in the zoo of opinions, latest news and interesting articles, visit http://veggie.kmoonitee.net/. It's a fantastic site with a new approach to healthier way of life...I highly suggest taking a peek and giving your thoughts on a number of the various issues. I hope to contribute more to this site, especially as I am trying to approach my eating habits from a different perspective.

Over and out y'all!

KaB

Today, I like...

1. Saucy, yummy 'can't sing ever, at all!' Enrique's 'I like it'...it's on replay as I write this post...whooooohoooo!
2. Cape Town...da Mother City...the most gorgeous city on earth...my home...our mountain...it's table-like, did ya know?!? Yup, Capetonians are simply the luckiest pigs in shit what with this city being our home and all! *I like it!*
3. My muffin...*cough*...the baked version! It's bran, squishy and freshly-made with delicious, ripe raisins and other yummo things...mmm...scrumpdiliumptious!
4. Friends...special people they are! Consistent as shit...fantastic! I love all y'all :)
5. Birthdays...it's so many people's birthdays...this means celebrations and far too much funness aboard the funbus! To all my friends, heppi birthday! You share your special day with Snoop Dog, Tom Petty and Danni Minogue...mmm...Snoop's the only cool one in the bunch...so in his words..."drop it like it's hot!"

What happened today in 'Music History' many, many years ago...
1954 - The musical "Peter Pan" opened.
1973 - The Sydney Opera house officially opened.
1980 - U2's first album, "Boy", was released.


Have a fab day y'all!

Over and out!

KaB

Barrack Obama said...

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek!

If you could change 5 things…whatever they may be…what would you choose?!?

Me…

1)   Humanity – as much as this may sound like a cliché I highly doubt many people think about this what with their rat race lives and the constant speed race that we find ourselves in…*I don’t know about you but I’m horrified that Christmas is a few weeks away!* Over the last few months I have become emotionally infuriated, frustrated and saddened by people and the things they do…or don’t do! I wish upon stars and cross all fingers and toes hoping that one day you and me will stand up against what has become acceptable in society and play the modern day role of activist to help ‘change’ along it’s way. People are money-driven and selfish, governments are draconian and greedy and all the while we are ignoring the most important things in our lives, turning a blind eye to what we have told ourselves to believe is ‘too difficult to change’ or worse‘it doesn’t involve me’! The fact that we’re (most of us) healthy and alive, that we are surrounded by our loved ones, that we’re lucky to have had an education and accomplished personal goals, and (very close to my heart) that we’re here to share and explore an environment with magnificent wildlife are tantamount to finding your passion in life, promoting awareness and initiating change! You can…that’s all that is important! I would love to change people’s perceptions and see humanity make the world a better place for humans and animals alike!

2)   Our government…no really I would! I wish that the ANC today was as instrumental as they were back in the hey day when Madiba was our President. I was proud of our government…I was proud to be a South African…today, not so much! What with incompetency, lack of service delivery, corruption, fraud and generally the injustice of the people of South Africa, I resent the current leaders in office! What happened to leading by example, to democracy (a Utopian concept by all arguments) and to providing equality to all South African people no matter race, gender or your bank balance?!? What with all this Media Freedom, protection of the Information Act mumbo jumbo, that bafoon Julius Malema and his moronic chirps to R29m fraud in local government in the Eastern Cape…I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel! It’s all so depressing…I want to escape!

3)   Taxes…I loathe and despise being taxed (especially when I hear it’s going into the back pockets of fat cats and its cronies!). I hate seeing all my hard earned money sucked out of my reach…the shoes, the pretty floral dresses and the rest of the delicious wines that I could not get my hands onto! Argh…*the disappointment! Come pay day I feel like a deflated balloon hanging in the balance what with a smidgen of air to keep me afloat! What a horrible, sad little image!

4)   Visits to the dentist! Last week I visited *Mr Hot Dentist and had to force my eyes closed while he drilled, fiddled about and fixed the insides of my mouth! This was a problem what with spit, drooling, a fighting tongue, wide open mouth and lips stretched to all corners...it left me perplexed and unsure as to how I would deliver a flirtacious line in said unfortunate situation! How?!? I guess, come my second dreaded visit in the next 2 weeks, I’ll have to flutter my eyelashes all Betty-Boo like in hope that I’ll attract his ‘wondering eye’  while he's drilling away in my mouth! **Pity he’s married…humpf!

5)   The Cadbury Ostrich ad – I don’t get it and it annoys me…has the penny dropped for any of y’all and do you get the point of this ridiculous piece of advertising?!? *Bizarre!

Wonder what's ahead of tomorrow's wishful thinking?!? What would you change?!?

Over and out y'all!

KaB

This weekend...

1. Was a yummy weekend full of delicious, scrumpdiliumptious foodies...it was the sister's bday and we went to this little gem of a restaurant 'Gaatijie' in Paternoster...ohemgee deliciously tantalising, mouth-watering foodies! Goodness gracious! Home-made Sheperd's Pie for cold, wintery weather yummies made Sunday's curling on the couch even better!
2. I saw two pigs going at it...at a bush pub called 'Varkvlakgat' along the West Coast Road...very interesting and extremely amusing when piddled and in a car full of inebriated peoples!
3. I watched the latest Grey's Anatomy right out of the US...*brilliant, it's all I'm going to say!
4. I saw my long-last friend who was stolen by the Australians...*criminals*...my oldest friend finally came home to pay tribute to the mountain, dude! More great food, even greater margaritas and fantastic company! I look forward to our wine 'tour' (the posh version of 'piss up') on Wednesday :)
5. Sported sunshiney, happy, summery weather on Saturday *gorgeous* and seriously cold, pissing with rain, howling wind, dark and psychotic storms all of Sunday and into Monday. *I cuddled the pillow for comfort*. It was nice!
6. Province beat the Pilchards aka the Sharks! *Sigh*...what a fantastic result :)

Forward march to the weekend everyone...hup-hup!

Over & out

KaB

The Daily 6

Okay, okay...I "borrowed" this from Being Brazen...read her blog *no 'ah moms'*...and thought I'd play some Q&A for the day:

So how does this go down...I answer the random questions as per the below and you get toanswer the questions via the very useful 'comment' box! You may be wondering, 'well what the hell for?!?'...my response is this: just do it, you'll make me smile :)

1. Today I feel... drained and tired! (this isn't getting off to a great start!)

2. Last night I...made a yummy mushroom and creme fraiche pasta, watched some telly (CSI Miami a la Horatio Cane) and fell into bed...*bliss*

3. Quote of the week: mmm...“Envy is an insult to oneself.” Yevgeny Yevtushenko...I read this just now and thought it was pretty rad!

3. Song you keep listening to lately: Love lost by The Temper Trap

4. Currently I spend too much time... searching for a flat and getting flight quotes to Sydney online!

5. Favourite item of clothing at the moment?...*just one...eek*...erm...my denim-like long T from Woolies...so comfortable and super soft. It makes me happy!

6. If I got a tattoo tomorrow I would want it to be... the word 'love' in Sanskrit...there's something about a timeless emotion and the oldest language in the world that makes my bum hum!
 
And there we go...*happy feelings*...what's your Q&A for the day?!?
 
Over & out
 
KaB

**I heart Flyboy**

Usually every Monday is greeted with painful "so what did you get up to this weekend" questions multiplied by about 100 times depending on how many people you mistakenly bump into enroute to your desk! (depending on how your drunken night played itself out a la some random dude in the dark corner of a club...one may not want to remember...I wonder if the above-mentioned people ever thought about that before they asked the question...*maybe we don't want to recall, or to be more apt...perhaps we can't in which case we don't want to seem like some drunken whorish go-getter?!?)

Sis, I'm being ugly now *slaps self on wrist*

***side note: am not a drunken, whorish go-getter...just a tipsy, drool-ridden, knee-wobbling fool***

My answer to the weekend question is this...

I did what every eager 6 year old little boy in Cape Town did...I went to the International Airshow at Ysterplaat and spent...oh let me count...1, 2...6 hours watching aeroplanes and helicopters do flick flacks midair with the 'oohs' and 'aahs' of an over-excited audience...*who all left with a crooked neck, might I just add! This was my first and last time of ever going to an airshow and if it weren't for the highlight of the day, I'd have probably said it should've been something I'd have done when I was 8 and impressionable with an unclear future ahead of me *imagines self as fighter pilot amid enemy fire...ah...and Maverick is my boyfriend*.

Said highlight was a real-life version of Tom Cruise a la Top Gun...I was merrily walking through the various 'show' hangers with all the bombs and bullets and army truck stuff that really doesn't get the juices flowing, when a beautiful specimen caught my eye...he was tall, sported the short 'I'm in the army so stare at me' haircut, had the airforce uniform on (I imagined doing sexy time in that uniform) and wore the required aviation glasses for good measure. He was American (my ears perked up when I heard this) and I literally followed my 'Flyboy' through the crowds to his plane...'The Guardian Angel'...if it weren't for our imaginary shexy time in his hot one-piece uniform, I'd have vomitted cheese at the sight of this!

If ever a girl wanted a R-Rated fantasy to come true it was me in that moment with my Flyboy in the cargo hold thingie of 'The Guardian Angel'...*sigh*

The airshow was pretty cool though...if you're into jets and Griffons and Hawks and swashbuckling sword fights...*wait...wrong imaginary story*...then, like every boy that attended the show, you'd have been in your element! And because I'm a girl and not really into these things, I was just happy with the jets!

Well...just happy with the jets and more and more mesmerized by my superman Flyboy!

So...how was your weekend?!?

Over and out!

KaB

Rhino Murder - South Africa Activation

Flirting insanity!

Very few things make me nervous, intrigued and quite aware of myself other than flirting and being flirted with. It's like a sudden fire blitzes it's way up, up and away from the depths of my being right up into my two very visible pink cheeks...it's like I'm awash with scarlet red.

Oddly enough the first thing I think about is 'shit, I was eating all those yummies just now...wonder if I've got anything stuck in my teeth...oh god, oh god, oh god...my smile, it's getting bigger as each second ticks by......fuuuuuuck...I'm sure he can see that something stuck just over there'...and with that I start fiddling around with my tongue sans fingers trying to remain perfect in every...way...possible...cue: purple face!

*can't breathe!

Second thoughts are 'I'm not drunk enough for this...' or '...oh god, I've had so much wine I've forgotten what he's been on about for the last 8 minutes'! And with that...I smile, nod and wave goodbye!

*more like he waves goodbye!

What a freak!

This one guy was being genuinely nice, and I was enchanted with my company of course, and all I could talk about was the fact that I come from a musical family and this and that and more music talent etc etc! He needed to wee..."eventually"...and with that I stood facing a bunch of strangers minus one very important, self-preserving drink!

Cue: more wine!

And so it went on.

Come Saturday I was back on the funbus having a rip-roaring 'spontaneous' night out and about when I decided that I had not had a sufficient amount of self-deprecation and continued on the path of scarlet red to my next 'pouncee'...actually he was part of the 'partay' so it was part and parcel, and apparently I was:

a) not onto a bad thing, and
b) had quite a good response!

The entire 'partay' came to an abrupt end when literally everyone fell over and went to bed! Basically, I ran out of time!

*huh*

I did get a kiss on the cheek and an invitation out again...*not reading much into that judging on how useless I have become!

I need 'Coming Right 101' all over again...what a crock of shit! This should be easy...not completely useless and to the point that I have become completely useless at this!

Usually my wit, intelligence and lips help me along...*humpf...more wine!

You're welcome to chime in and give me a pointer or two! Perhaps a number of a gigalo should you feel I am so far off of base that this is my only chance at sanity! Please, not Deuce...I prefer Richard Gere a la 'An officer and a Gentleman'!

Over and out!

KaB

**Note**..."It's Rhino month - DStv joins media fight"

http://www.bizcommunity.com/Article/196/422/52041.html

Check out this link peoples who care...basically it comes down to this very important point:

"More than 90% of Africa's rhinos live in South Africa, where conservation methods have achieved great success since the 1970s. However, organised poaching has increased dramatically over the past two years. The plight of the rhino in South Africa is being widely reported, as the threat of rhino poaching in the country is at its highest level, with the population of rhino being reduced, according to recent reports.

Through both on-air promotions and magazine advertising, DStv viewers are encouraged to SMS 'Heroes' to 38215, to raise funds for the Hluhluwe-iMfolozi Park in KwaZulu-Natal, one of the rhino programs supported by Save the Rhino International. Each SMS costs R10 and after network and admin fee deductions, the balance will be donated to the charity. The campaign will run until 5 November 2010."

And don't forget...'Rhino Day' is on 22 September 2010...so dust off those vuvuzelas you packed away and get blowing for the rhinos!!!

Over and out!

KaB

Rhino poaching accused get bail: News24: South Africa: News

Rhino poaching accused get bail: News24: South Africa: News

Seriously, this is absolutely bizarre and yet another indication that animals have no rights in South Africa! These men have been linked to 8 other rhino poaching incidents yet they find themselves free and able to go out and kill more rhinos?!? These pigs are going to disappear off the face of the earth and won't get punished...they're going to continue killing rhinos and poach their horns for a tiny portion of what they're actually worth!

If SANPARKS and the Lead Rhino Summit had any clue, they'd go for the heart and find the syndicates operated by the Chinese! Horns are worth $250 000 in the Asian market...we should be out there finding the suppliers and stockists and cutting their noses off...then shoot them 17 times all over their body and let them die in a pool of their own blood!

Seriously...when will something be done, this is just ridiculous and I can't even begin to comprehend the magnitude of these operations!

Wish people would stop caring about material objects and rubbish that lasts a season and concentrate on saving the planet, it's animals and the things generations to come will cherish!

Over and out!

KaB

Game conservation in Africa: Horns, claws and the bottom line

http://www.economist.com/node/16941705?story_id=16941705

For a real interesting read on game conservation in Africa, with particular mentions of rhino conservation, read the above link. It's quite a debatable piece with arguments from all sides, illustrating just how difficult the battle is to conserve Africa's wildlife. With economic factors, increasing populations and ridiculous Chinese traditions (that I loathe and detest and will gladly comment on as barbaric and pathetic) our animals that we treasure have a very difficult future ahead of them unless we really put our heads together and bring about a change for the benefit of all concerned!

Happy reading and please let me know your thoughts on this!

Over and out!

KaB

The digits of doom!

*Cue 'Psycho' tune!

I drunk dialled!

There...it's out there in the universe, I am throwing that negative energy out there and away from me! And I am NOT proud of it!

I hate the fact that I get ever so slightly emotional once every few months and throw myself wholly into a random, stupid little thought and inevitably cause a step backwards in the wrong direction by actioning the said thought!

I am left pondering, why?!?

Yes, of course I miss him...it's the good things that I miss and it's completely, utterly normal! It's when I hear a song or am at a place that reminds me of these good times that I plummet into a brief 5 minute history lesson and put the past on playback!

All I know is that messaged him...and said 'I miss you...*something else which I can't remember for the life of me*...I really miss you'...that's it, that's what I said.

For what reason?!? It's not like I expect anything in return and more importantly, I don't want anything from him.

So why do I put myself right back in this hurtful situation and doom myself to a few minutes of sadness, and sometimes tears, with absolutely no reason at all?

I don't understand being a woman sometimes...*very odd! Perhaps you can enlighten my stupidity?!?

Ah well...my punishment for the day is walking around with a BIG 'L' on my forehead and knowing that he probably thinks that I'm very much the loser that he dropped!

Forward march to greener pastures...where's the wine, thanks?!?

Over and out!

KaB

Climbing my way through the 'fun house'!

I went rock climbing last night…well ‘City Rock’ climbing that is!


Basically, it’s a whole bunch of climbing walls, clickety clips stuck in the wall, really really long ropes and extremely high ceilings. In other words, it’s an adventure! Just be sure you take along a friendly friend, someone who I hope you can trust…*thank you Miss M*…because they’re in charge of your rope and the inevitable connection you have with the floor from way up skywards! Each wall is marked with different levels and routes so you can really put your strength, technique and eagerness to the test. It’s amazing though…it’s like climbing the rainbow wall of wonderment…aka the liquorice all sorts of climbing walls!

To say that I thought I had an ounce of strength in my upper body is ridiculous.

I had none!

I could barely make it up the one wall! And it was only my second try! I was so buggered that my arms are now ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ in masochistic pain while I contemplate my very next journey to the liquorice all sorts wall. Not only am I looking forward to strapping up and climbing up but the talent is most appreciated as well.

It’s the girl’s meat market…and if you’re hungry for some meat then this definitely is the place to find yourself at! Men…there are ample men strapping up, clicking up, roping up and climbing up of walls! And they’re hot…with their beautifully designed muscles, muscle-stacked arms and hard worked hands…I could only dream of being a wall all night last night!

City Rock definitely is the ‘House of Fun!’…and far too much of it...wowwowwowwee!

Mmm…the evening’s adventures were calmed down by a relaxing Ashtanga Yoga class which was, to say the least, so flipping sore and difficult it made the climbing look like a walk in the park! Most enjoyable and very soothing for the soul!

Perhaps I’ll join this fantastic place and make a go at it...instead of climbing my own mental walls, this could be the alternative to revamping things up and making it a bit interesting...you know, shaking things up and havin' a bit of fun now and then...with a mountaineer...*wink, wink*. At least he'll have the gear to funk things up in the bedroom...or outside, depending on his grip!

Over and out y’all!

KaB

Another 2 rhinos have been brutally killed for their horns!

You know...there are very few things that make me want to bash an incompetent person's head into the wall repeatedly...this is one of those things!

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/2-rhinos-killed-on-Limpopo-farm-20100824

How the hell can this continue happening...is it not plain as day that this is ridiculous now...I mean honestly, must a depleted population really be extinct in order for the moronic government to wake up and take action...I can't believe the people who are put in charge of biodiversity and conservation...they can't even run a flipping monkey's show and they're left in charge of our country's best assets!

There are alternatives to this...put cyanide in their horns...people will soon learn to not use them because they'll be dead...mission accomplished! Get geneticists to fiddle with their DNA and STOP the horns from growing. Do anything...do something for goodness sakes!

Please, somebody do something before it's too late!

Over and out!

Infuriated and extremely disappointed KaB

Keeping the balls in my court...

I asked a guy out today.

I just picked up the phone, called his office and spoke to him. *Hot voice*

He seemed intrigued but unfortunately another lucky bitch beat me to the punch...(I must have been onto something good there)...and he said that he'd feel bad if he complied. He was flattered though...of course he was...he's in high demand for f's sake and some random gorgeous-voiced woman just phoned him to ask him out!

Bold move...ah well...at least I asked.

At least I had the bloody guts to phone somebody completely random and ask them out for drinks. It's a first for me but it's opened the flood gates...**now going through my phone number list slash business cards looking for hot single men to phone and book up my weeks with** Is a genuine joke - not going to do that...this dude really got the insides going and am bummed to the core! Balls...he really is a hottie though and seems like a nice enough dude...what with his sincerity and charm felt through the phone. Wish I could've felt something else through the phone!

What is it about women asking men out...so many of my girlfriends were weary of the idea and suggested alternatives, some of the guys thought the idea was great and that it showed initiative. Does that mean you appreciate it if a chick digs you and asks you out or does it mean you're convinced you've got a place to stay the night even before the date has started?!?

Because, although that would be nice on date #you're getting lucky tonight, that's not the point. The point is to take the balls and put them in my own court...so to speak...and to take control of my very own situation rather than wait for some Prince Charming to swoop me off of my feet...I prefer to do the swoop testing myself, you see!

I won't lie...the thought of phoning him sent my insides running...sweaty hands and a sick nauseous feeling swept through me like the plague and I found myself staggering towards the finish line. And when I got there I came second...for goodness sake. Is there no good power type supernatural energy person thingie up there in the Big Blue ready to help a sista out with some good karma and good times!

It just got me thinking...why don't we do this more often, because honestly...it's the 21st Century and women are independent and in control of their lives...except when it comes to dating...so many wait around and expect 'the one' to walk through the door and rescue her from spinsterhood and scrawny old cats licking your old and mouldy body because it's smells dodgy due to lack of hygiene!

Seriously...why do we not ask men out on dates...what's stopping us? The fact that we'll look desperate...needy?!?

I need answers.

Over and out y'all!

KaB

Surviving the game...

Can I survive in the 'wild'?!?

Really...let's answer this honestly...

1. I literally gargle just a tad bit of vomit at the site of creepy crawlies...they're revolting! Don't even get me started on spiders...*little hairy monsters*
2. I can make fire...with paraffin marinated tea bags of course...I can see myself twirling the only strand of flint around my fingers out of sheer boredom, next thing it's over and out with fires a la flint! *oh dear...wasn't me!*
3. I can catch fish...no really I can...well I've tried and succeeded if that's what you're thinking! Never landed myself a biggon but I can provide! Am not afraid to bait a hook and send the reel on out there into the blue yonder...wish I was this capable in hooking up with a male *ROFL*...can also find mussels, oysters and other molluscs to take to the table!
4. I have pooped in the bush before...all y'all need is a spade or similar like tool (I suppose a hand will do) to do the 'digging' (more like hiding!) and one must not forget to be courteous and leave a leaf or something flag-like to alert other toilet users to your poohs' whereabouts!
5. Am petrified of the dark!
6. Never slept on the floor before sans mattress, blankie or pillow...this could spell disaster...will have to sustain self with tree leaves and other cushion like materials...have no fecking idea what I would do?!? Keep seeing images of when I was a lightie in the sandbox and used to scoop out body type holes to fit into and would cover self with sand to 'protect' (against what...the nursery school teacher and her pet boyfriend the boogey man)...one has to wonder if this would be smart?!?...what with all those creepy crawlies and lice type monsters living in the sand...*eew*! OMG my hair...it'll get BIG...very big!
7. That being said...I can't go 12 hours without showering!
8. Wash my hair 1X daily
9. Wine does not flow like water in the wild...*potential sanity issue here*
10. No clean panties...for fucks sake!
11. Will have to live in my bikini...can see local newspaper headlines...'whale beaches on island, blubber everywhere'
12. The challenges...I can so beat boys at physical obstacles and things like that...make me run up and down a line or squirm around on top of others in order to conquer one and all...I can do that no problem! Can swim...can run...can walk...can sleep...can do technical shit as long as does not involve maths (am ill-equipped with numbers)...yez...I can play games and hunt and gather and flipping well win!!!
13. Don't eat funny stuff like slime, insides or roaches...god forbid they put a goat's testicle infront of me...*mock vomit*

To answer my own mind-boggling question: no, I probably cannot survive in the wild!

Seriously...am entering Survivor...have a HIGHlarious audition prepared...best I not tell them judges just how bad I could be in the 'wild'...hope there's a super hot boy I can 'use' along the way and make my slave! Will play the game well!

I reckon with all the limited fun aside I am doomed to hate the entire experience! But...really, REALLY, really want to compete in Survivor: Maldives!

Wish me luck y'all! Thoughts?!?

Over & out!

KaB

**Rhino Poaching: Make a Change**

16 July 2010


Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism

Postal Address
Private Bag X447
Pretoria
0001

To Ms BP Sonjica

RHINO POACHING: MAKE A CHANGE

I write to you in response to the current news article that broke on News24 on Wednesday 15 July 2010.

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Rhino-killed-in-Krugersdorp-park-20100714

As a proud South African, I am saddened and angry at this news. I, and I am sure many within the public, are disheartened by the continuous killings of one of Africa’s greatest species and we continue to see NO ACTION taken by the relative authorities. How can we celebrate the resounding success of the 2010 FIFA World Cup and be proud of our country when these senseless, money-driven acts continue to deplete the rhinoceros population? We continue to promote our country on the backdrop of safari adventures and in providing tourists with the unique opportunity of being up close with one of the Africa’s giants, yet we do nothing to create awareness around poaching, or at least not enough awareness that will aid in decreasing their untimely deaths.

Why do you not educate people, why do you not ensure that stricter measures are taken against poachers who have been caught – more importantly, why have you not responded to these killings and provided more skilled rangers who are equipped to fight poaching? How come you continue to hold your job title in a department that should be protecting these animals rather than turning a blind eye to their demise? It is unacceptable that this has been allowed to continue and as South Africans, we should all be ashamed of ourselves for not caring enough to put a stop to this. It is shameful that we promote ourselves through referencing these animals yet we do nothing to protect or ensure their survival!

Over the last year, 126 rhino have been murdered for their horn, a commodity that is exported to Asia for archaic medicinal purposes – medicine? Do you not think that this is a bizarre alternative to the survival of this species; so bizarre that you should be using all of your resources to ensure that the rhinoceros species does not become extinct? The female rhinoceros that was killed on Tuesday was still suckling her calf, she was not dead when those inhumane pigs sawed her horn off, she probably died of shock and her calf was left to fend for itself. Does this not have an impact on the emotional capacity of your soul, do you not care that this senseless murder was done in vain and was completely unnecessary? If so, why are you not making a change and why do we continue to hear new stories each week of more rhino being killed?

As a lover of animals, and someone who is proud of her heritage, I ask you ‘what are your action plans in fighting poaching and what do you intend on doing about it to ensure the survival of this species’? Surely there must be an action plan that you are obligated to share with the public? I implore you to make a stand and to create change, you have the backing of thousands of people who care about these animals and who want to continue watching them survive in the wild; their home where they can reproduce and continue to provide a unique opportunity to admire and appreciate that which is only inherent to us as South Africans.

It is time to put a stop to this, before it’s too late.

Regards,

**DIY tools go on SALE**

So, after many a celebratory high-5, baby-5, double-5, jumping up and down in the air waving the Spanish flag and clutching of fists (you get the picture, right...so super happy for Spain after their clash with ze Germans?!?) I left the humble abode of a friend's place and descended upon my parental unit who were themselves celebratory *well, dad was already passed out in bed* and winding down from a rather stupendously  brilliant Spanish footwork (oh, I'm sorry...should I shut up about that now...*cough*...no!). Mommy dearest then took the opportunity to get me all flustered and excited about a certain purchase, only to then bring me crushing down to hillbillyhood!

Moo: sweetie pie, I have such a great idea for you re: buying something for your house!
KaB: *oh goodie, goodie, goodie gumpdrops*...show me, show me! *At this point you can imagine me jumping up and down like an excited 10 year old who's on the brink of getting her very own Ultrahair Barbie...yes I got one of those way back when*
Moo: well, just before I show you what it is remember you'll need one of these and without a man around the house and your dad a few minutes up the road, it will make your life much easier!
KaB: *desperately trying to figure out what she's on about...what could it be?!?* Gee, thanks mom for reminding me that I'm 1X minus my very own sex slave *cough I mean boyfriend*! So what is this "mystery" purchase you speak so matter of a fact about?!?
Moo: okay, well I think you should really consider buying yourself this (see image below)

KaB: *a drill...mmm...she could be onto something here, self-controlled, different sized-bits to suit all moods...wonder if Women with Toys knows about this breakthrough...ROFL* Mommy, are you serious?!? What the fuck am I going to do with a drill...I hate that type of DIY, you know I need my very own handyman...if not for this, for other more important, bedroom satisfying jobs...**hope that thing is battery operated!**

Seriously, she then continued to point out the difference in cost between the Drill Set *imagine my eagerness* and the Drill alone! Imagine, she actually thought I'd be drilling holes in walls and measuring meterage and centimeters of thingies that people do to put walls up...I can't even measure a double shot properly, how the hell would I cope with this?!?

I think I'll stick to finding my very own DIY man...wherever he may be! Pity he doesn't come onsale!

Over and out y'all!

KaB

Viva Espanol...my team beat ze Germans!

And I am so happy that they showed dem Germans!

Viva...Viva...Viva Espanol!!!

Ah, the moment they celebrated their goal...*amazeballs*

Viva Espanol!

Over and out!

KaB

**Don't forget to put the little blue pills in your evening bag...just in case**

Out and about the other night enroute to the Spain vs. Portugal game I met a pro golfer...*cha-ching*!

My imagination was fast put to bed when wannabe dad mentioned he was at the ripe old age of 59 years old...*in all fairness to him, it wasn't like he didn't look it though...I should've gurgled, dribbled and sucked my thumb...perhaps then he'd have not considered approaching a girl 33 years younger than him*! Images of dried up raisins and pharmacy-stocked bathroom cabinets threatened to make my feet run a mile but I was 'fortunately' tied to a draught and left my ego open to being chatted up and flirted with!

For what benefit I have no clue?!?

Wannabe Sugadaddy: You look Spanish...*wink, wink...slides closer to me*
KaB: *oh for fucks sake*...Thanks but I'm not...*continues talking to sister*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: Well you definitely look Spanish with your colouring *at this point he's checking me out bottom to top, eyebrow raised*...are you sure you're not from Spain?!?
KaB: *Let me just double check my passport*...Where do you want me to be from...*couldn't help but play with him*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: *chuckles under his breath*
KaB: I'm from here...Cape Town...lucky you! *by this point I've put out all the negative body language...standing slightly away from him, arms folded*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: From Cape Town...no ways, I could've sworn you were from Spain. I mean look at you! *moves closer*...What do you do?!?
KaB: *I play the castanets! ROFL*...What do you want me to do?!? *god, I mean really...what is wrong with me...I can't even flirt properly with a balie!*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: *now laughing heartily*...mmm...*probably now thinking what he would do with me*...so how old are you?!?
KaB: *not old enough for you obviously*...26!
Wannabe Sugadaddy: Jackpot! I'm probably older than your own dad!
KaB: Probably...how old are you then?!?
Wannabe Sugadaddy: 59!
KaB: Ja, you are...g'bye!

Seriously...are there any men worth talking to and where the hell do lovely young ladies looking for a good time find you?!?

If they're not gay (which is unfortunate because 99% of gay men are wonderful and the perfect catch)...they're either loners, unambitious, slap-stick funny, unstable, boring, unsporty, unintelligent, boep-ridden, non-reading, unoriginal, porn-watching, old, disrespectful and completely chauvenistic in every way...absolutely nothing like the man I'm attracted to!

*not that I'm looking or anything!

Women no longer only have to consider taking a condom out with them...you now have to take the little blue V pills just in case you land yourself a bachelor double your age! Hey, at least you go prepared!

Over and out y'all!

KaB

Setting up the swing set and my very own home!

*cough, excuse me while I just spit up some dust balls*...it has been decided...(gawd, I've been making way too many grown up decisions lately...am starting to feel old)...I'm going to remain a lone spinster at the parentals house until I can save enough money to put down a deposit on my very own four walls!

I'll never bag a man this way...and certainly won't be bringing him home to sneak into my childhood bedroom to do adult only things to! I can just see it...mom and dad waltz into bedroom mid swing set sex position action thing, strange dude inbetween my legs..."oh hello mum, hi daddy...this is *insert exhibit A's name*...wadda ya think?!?"

*will have to save emergency 911 number on phone*

No...I may as well box up my box *cough* and keep it locked away to collect cobwebs...*at least I'll save money by not visiting the beautician regularly*!

On a more serious note, perhaps it's the right decision...I'm 26 and earn a good enough salary to pay towards my very own grown up bond...*yay*...I can't wait to eat bread and butter for dinner! Question is: where?!? Where do people buy homes now?!? I mean, I don't want to set up shop in a family suburb...am not growing up that much *even though look like could be preggies*! Note to self: go to gym later! No, I want to move where there are youngins, people with hot bodies and Friday night party lifestyles...I prefer to be hungover with another rather than on own...that way you don't feel like the only alcoholic out there, is always better to have a helping hand...*ROFL in more ways than one*

Mmm...I look forward to meeting my hot new neighbour and discussing the sprinkler systems and flower beds over borrowing cups of sugar *he doesn't have to know I don't eat the stuff*...will have to strategically introduce him to my play-play swing set...he can bring over his *tool kit* to fine tune all the nuts and bolts...*am a little rusty around the edges*!

The house looking begins now and the MAJOR savings should have started 2 years ago! Not sure if that means Aussie is off the cards...I don't want it to be but unless I win the lottery I think I'm staying within SA's borders for now...oh dear god I was so looking forward to that...*humpf*! One month I'm keen to rent an apartment and buy a ticket to Sydney and experience life. Now I'm opting to experience another side of life and the dull monthly bond payments to go with it...is no fun!

That being said, at least within my own four walls I can set up the adult only swing set and have multiple "exhibits" over for bread and butter Fun Fridays - it gives a whole new meaning to a human sandwich!

Over and out y'all!

KaB

**If you have the option: always take the room number and not the petrol station**

I have ‘if you’re a weirdo you should totally take your chance with me’ written all over across my forehead…and probably on my backside too, seems that it’s gotten the size of a billboard – may as well reap the rewards! On a more serious note, I tend to always have the social oddities on the streets approaching me, perhaps my smile is too inviting and says ‘yes, I’m all yours…take a chance, love will prevail!’ Tuesday night after the Brazil/ North Korea game (big up to the NK boys), old toothless wonder waltzes up to me at the petrol station and proceeds to get all funky with me…

TW: hello girlie, tell me, don’t you have just a little bit of change for me, I’m so hungry and these pills I’m on for my schitzophrenia need to be taken with food, I’ve got none! (*alarm bells going ting-ting-ting at this point*)

Me: (*fake smiling with frightened scared shitless eyes*) oh okay, are you really going to buy food with this?!

*no, you do good moron…why you ask such a stupid question*

TW: yes, thank you so much…what’s your name!

Me: (*stupidly way too nice and feeling sorry for this dude*) – insert name –

TW: *shaking my hand*…it’s so nice to meet you, one day I’d like to marry a girl with –insert name –

At this point I’m wondering well thank fuck it’s not me but why another girl with my name…why not me with my name, am I really that bad that I can’t even bag myself a schitzophrenic, hungry homeless man? *it’s like the universe is against me bagging a fella…even if it’s a weirdo I’d never touch with a barge pole...was not point*

TW: you know – insert name -…these pills give me such a healthy sex appetite, you don’t mind if I talk about this, you mos know it’s normal!

Me: *shaking head…oh sweet jesus fuck…I’ve got a paedophile, flashing, schitzo murderer on my hands…while thinking to myself ‘I love me, I love my life, I don’t want to be strangled in my car outside of a petrol station…this isn’t how it’s suppose to end…so dirty and tacky here*

TW: …and you know, when I masturbate every night it’s so good…blah blah blah!

All the blood was drained from my face and probably went into his pants…dirty fucker! Out of the corner of my eye I’m desperately pleading with the universe to please let my friends get in the car so that I may escape this lone sexual predator who a) now knows my name *stupid girl* and b) shook my hand with his dirty masturbating hand…

***NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO***

Eventually, as old toothless wonder was getting a little too close for comfort, the friends actually rocked up and we managed to get the hell out of dodge!

R9 (nine rand) later and after being laughed at by the girls I manage to stumble into the house thanking the universe that I had an exfoliating sponge and super hygienic clean soap to wash clean, swop (*I'd have considered this option*), exfoliate and just get rid of all the masturbating germs my hand could have contracted...*bad hand*!

Am done with dodgy dudes…I preferred the hot American I had a super deep and interesting conversation with…well a drunk one that is! Got his room number at the hotel…instead I went to the petrol station!!!

Over and out y’all!

KaB

*the greatest ever*

My colleagues and I did our usual distractions this morning and started chit-chatting about the random gobsmack one generally discusses when desperately trying to do something other than work...we landed on 'the greatest invention ever'.

Well, we all know that it's the wheel...unfortunately for big spenders like me it's not the wheel of fortune...how unlucky...it'd have gone a long way otherwise!

A few ideas from the folk are the following:

• The pill (why yes, besides giving women the sexual freedom that we so desire, it could also be considered the symbolism for our indepedence from the patriarchal blah blah blah...it's good for not falling pregnant and gets the job done...*double tick*!
• The condom...no arguments there!
• Clocks!
• Sex and the city...well, I do love Carrie and the girls and I wouldn't know what to do without their words of wisdom and fabulous wardrobes but how about sex and also the city...is better compromise?!?
• Wine...*alcoholics anonymous would not exist without it and that would be such a shame*
• Internet...without it we could not stalk, obssess over and find new love...okay seriously...it's like a library of everything...whatever you need to know we 'google it' or 'wiki it' and boom you have an answer for everything...*it's great in the midst of an argument with a real know it all*
• Penicillin...without it we would not have McDreamy or McSteamy and would therefore not survive!
• Wikipedia...the Information Age at its most intelligent!
• Toilet Paper...god knows how Eve coped?!?
• Takeaway coffee...or better, Vida...*obrigado*
• Make up...let's be honest gentlemen, all those women who you do naughty things to or imagine having jockey clad pillow throwing girl fights with ALL have make up on!
• Edward Cullen
• The Printing Press...the words of Jane Austen, Shakespeare and Dr Seuss would never have been heard!
• Electricity...without it we'd not have iPods, cellphones, electric toothbrushes and GHDs!
• The Vuvuzela...nuff said!

Any ideas on what is the greatest invention that you could not live without?!?

Catch you on the flipside y'all!

KaB

**FEEL IT, IT'S HERE**

It is here...the eve of the 2010 World Cup and South Africa is going super crazy...if you don't live here you actually have zero clue at how amazing the gees (*spirit*) is!


The vibe, the people, the colours, the noises, the t-shirts and the car kits are just everywhere you look and nobody is holding back...I mean nobody! I reckon people must be just about bowled over by the enthusiasm and patriotism the locals are displaying and the foreigners are putzing in excitement - South Africa you have made us proud and boy oh boy are the next few weeks going to be a madfest! I am practically bankrupt just thinking about all the alcohol and jols (*parties*) we're going to be having!


And...I have blown the vuvuzela so many times this week I have become a pro at blowing, so to speak! All the spit and slobber is totally under control...this has made me very happy indeed...*back to basics...tick*! Now all I need to do is find me a foreigner...*just kidding*! My father would smack me silly if he knew I spoke such dirty words!


Honestly though, it's just an amazing time to be home and to take in the atmosphere that has just consumed the thoughts, actions and days of locals - I wish everyone could experience it!


Tomorrow's events are bubbling over with gees:

At lunchtime we're all heading on over to Fireman's Arms for the Opening Ceremony and to watch Bafana Bafana kick off the tournament, thereafter a whole bunch of us are heading to the opening game at the Cape Town stadium...France vs. Uruguay and it's going to be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! God knows how the rest of the evening is going to pan out...it'll be full of geeeeees which is pretty much a given for the next few weeks :)


Check out a few of the 'gees' piccies that have been filtering around this week...enjoy the festivities wherever you are and have a flipping fabulous World Cup...go Bafana Bafana!





**FEEL IT, IT'S HERE**

KaB

**going down under**

Oh how I miss the days of being a recipient!

But this is not what's got my wondering mind preoccupied at the mo...no...I'm heading to ye criminal island, Australia mate! Land of kangaroos, Jackaroos (mmm...yummo), dingos and their pet babies, Ivan Milat, the great Outback, showgirl Kylie Minogue, Aborigines and of course Hugh Jackman! *I wonder if he's looking for a mate, mate?!?*

One of my 'mates' now resides in Sydney and his family are up the East Coast in a place aptly named 'Surfer's Paradise'...well of course I'd like to go there too...*tick*! We're talking about road-tripping it...which means I'll get to go on ausari (combo of australia + safari...works/ doesn't work?!?) and drive past kangaroos, drunk parrots, Blue Mountains and 10 hours of coastline, I would imagine!

I can see it now...the friend and I destitute a la flat tyre...we make fire like our ancestors, inconspicuously entertaining ourselves with the souvenir didgeridoos and in the distance beyond the blazing flames of our fire stands a lone dingo...salivating at the mouth in want of my flip flops and specially smuggled in South African biltong. *I wonder if a dingo will play fetch with a didgeridoo?!?*

It's an expensive affair...seems that I'm cheating on my family and our usual christmas shenanigans on the SA Wild Coast with my Aussie family and NYE in Sydney harbour...I love me some fireworks...blitz, colours and booms and bangs that preorder my hearing aid for later on in life! I am very excited indeed...whoopa!

Anyone have any tips for the trip...where to go, what to do (perhaps who...sis, I joke)...how to get through a 25 hour flight...help?!?

For now, the weekend is ahead of us...and that entails some much-deserved (and needed) shopping...a trip to my beautician, the purchasing of my patriotic car kit and a whole lot of rugby! Oh...and SATC 2 of course!!!

Have a goodie y'all!

Over & out

KaB

What's going on...

A few quickie updates for now (I promise to splurge shortly)...

1. I may have pink eye...god damn lovely!
2. I am most unimpressed that the Stormers lost on Saturday...I am left asking, why?!?
3. I have a thing for someone in my office...many a copy machine fantasy has been dreamed up, multiple scenarios are played, replayed and paused in my head...*it's exciting and brings new meaning to the words, scan, copy and fax...who needs a vibrator when you've got a copy machine, buttons and images all inclusive*
4. I will never make a move on him...*sad, realistic fact*
5. I watched the Kendra vs. Kim Kardashian sex tape fiasco competition thing today...Kendra's wins hands down!
6. Both sex tapes are revolting and a poor excuse to claim fame and even more money!
7. I wish Crystal could have won American Idols - she may have had dreadlocks but she stole the show!
8. Vampire Diaries is my crush...I can't live without the Salvatori brothers!

*they say no news is good news...I have nothing further to say or update you on*

Over and out y'all!

KaB

Old timers...

Remember old school music...the stuff your 13th disco party was made of complete with cool black bag material covering the dark unseen crevices of the garage, the large colourful black and pink sign screaming a glittering happy birthday to you (like the guests had no clue whose party they were at...well... that wouldn't be a first actually)...the robot disco lights blinking to the beat and the deejay i.e. your dad/ mom and sister playing the sickest tunes of the 90s!

My colleagues and I decided to take a trip down memory lane yesterday and downloaded all the life-changing, necessary growing up songs that we could guilt our disco grooving feet into! Check out some of these winners:

All that she wants - Ace of Base
I saw the sign - Ace of Base
Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
Pump up the jam - Technotronics
Acky Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (a sorry excuse for country)
Macarena - Los Del Rio (this actually is still a lot of fun and had *Plaas Boy grooving away a la Paarl style in the office)
Mm'Bop - Hanson (*this song scared the bejaysus out of my ears*)
No limit - 2 Unlimited (*we actually nearly broke our necks trying to go along with the beat*...must be getting old!)
Saturday Night - Whigfield (*still sucks*)
Sexy Eyes - Whigfield (*still sucks*)
I'll make love to you - Boyz II Men (*wtf...shut up*)
I swear - All 4 One (*the stuff made for slow dancing...remember those*)
Can't touch this - MC Hammer (*still a winner according to Andre Visagie and the etv studio*)
Slave to the music - Twenty 4 Seven
Wannabe - Spice Girls (*pass*)
Backstreet Boys - I want it that way
Black and White - Michael Jackson
Wicked Game - Chris Isaaks (*what a great song...always a winner*)
Barbie Girl - Aqua (*bubblegum witkak*)
Lemon Tree - Fool's Garden
To the moon and back - Savage Garden

And a little bit of the older vibe that you can't go wrong with...

Club Tropicana - Wham
Don't you forget about me - Simple Minds (*probably one of the best songs of all time...and movies*...Breakfast Club is THE cult movie*)
Ma Baker - Boney M
Thriller - The King of Pop
Material Girl - Madonna
Funkytown - Lipps Inc.
Ride Like The Wind - Cristopher Cross
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield

Any tunes that you hold dear to your heart and still can't live without...remind me, I'm sure it'll be cringeworthy stuff!!!

Over and out y'all!

KaB

Piss: off to London for the weekend...big work party conference thing...am sure there'll be plenty of goss to fill you in on :)

The wicked witch next door...

Ever felt like slashing your neighbour's tyres or maybe even just planting sneaky piles of dog pooh outside their front door to 'surprise' them in the morning...it's a sure way to make someone's start to the day a very bad one indeed!

I've had those thoughts...this weekend! I'll set the scene:

I was just coming home from the rugger and was parking my car when the neighbour's common friends arrive at their house and proceed to drop a huge bottle of booze on the pavement outside our driveway and they continue to obliviously walk away without cleaning it up...of course the street fairy will do a fly-by and wave her magic wand...um no...what world do these morons live in?!?

So I proceed to call the boss aka my mom who would of course play the good neighbour card and request, very nicely I might add, that they clean up the glass so that tyres don't burst, dogs don't limp away with glassy paws and that the neighbour's kids don't run around in the stuff (let's be honest...kids are stupid that way). The debacle ensued as follows:

Boss: hi there nice neighbour, I see you're having a rather awesome party to celebrate the Stormers win today (insert: so am I *hiccup*) but your friends did the following (insert broken bottle story above).
(sidebar: the chick who was part of the bottle-smashing trio was standing right there)
The Witch: how the hell do you know that it's my friends and what are you talking about?
Boss: *noting that the neighbour was being quite rude and defensive*...well my daughter was coming home and saw it happen just now
The Witch: well show me where this is
(sidebar: the stupid cow who broke the glass now tries to divert the attention of said witch to stop her from going to the scene of the crime...she was obviously not wanting to confess)
Boss: please come and look, I would appreciate it (nudges the neighbour slightly on elbow)
The Witch: DON'T PUSH ME!
The Witch: (now turning to me) how do you know it was my friends
KaB: (pointing directly at the stupid cow) well it was her, she was the one who did it!

I feel very Scarlett Letter at this stage!!!

Stupid Cow: um...um...*belch*...oh ja, it was so and so when they were on their way inside your house!
Boss: well it doesn't really matter who it was and I don't want to point the finger of blame but please can you just get someone to clean this up so that nobody gets hurt later on!

The Witch agrees to cleaning it up and fetches her broom...*hysterical*

Come 2 mins later I'm outside checking that a door is locked and she looks at me, points her broom in my direction and slurs away through an abusive turn of events:

The Witch: you see, I've got my broom and am cleaning up this shit!
Me: well thank you, it's just that the neighbour's kids and the dogs *don't get to finish my sentence*
The Witch: don't you tell me about whose kids play outside here, you don't have kids (*for a good fucking reason you stupid sloppy bitch*) and my kids fucking play out here, not yours...*insert abusive language*

I just closed the door...who the hell wants to get into a fight with a stroppy, common cow who has no class...how rude!

I'd like to know who let the sloppy moron onto our street...surely you have to pass a class test or something?!?

Bleh...maybe a twister can come round and dump a house on her or something...that'd be nice!

*happy thoughts*

Over and out y'all!

KaB

My heart is in my vagina...

Meredith Grey recently said “you can’t have sex with a man without having feelings for him…your heart is in your vagina!” Well one of the best series ever made just summed up the simplicity of a woman in 6 words…your heart is in your vagina!

Who needs therapy?

Rebounds?

A one night stand?

Women cannot have meaningless sex with a man, well this is what I believe anyway…I highly doubt that a women can walk away feeling pumped up full of ego, arrogance and a McSteamy way of thinking…charming smile, swagger and bad girl complex does not bode well with the female sex – it does not look good on us…well not as good as a pair of skinny jeans and fuck me heels do, that’s for sure!

Cat’s out the bag…I’ve never had a one night stand! This is pretty much out of fear for what I may be getting my sorry set of emotions involved in…I’ve done the 3 week fling and 4am booty calls and it certainly sent my knees wobbling and toes curling in pure ecstasy but nothing was more exciting than knowing I had my guy at home, the same guy I’d have multiple times over and over in however many months *and ways*– that’s a turn on in itself and where my emotions were blinded for a few months my heart soared for what felt like years! I’d like to think that my vajay-jay knew what it was getting into at the time but my heart was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Society would call me a prude…Samantha a la Sex and the City would probably equate my sexual experience to that of a nun *well in her sex terms that is* but I wouldn’t trade in my ‘vagina’ for a random night of sex even if it were Stefan Salvadore or god forbid, a freak bump in the night with my ex. Okay wait…I may just let the vampire sink his teeth into me, he is quite delicious! But think about it, have you ever walked away after a onetime thing with your emotions in check? There must be some sentiment where you wonder ‘what if’ or ‘should I call him’ or even low and behold you left your phone number and were left waiting for him to dial the forbidden digits! Let’s be honest…he’s only thinking of one digit and it’s not the 10 digit mobile number you left lying hopeless on his side table.

Since I broke up with the man I was hopelessly and helplessly in love with…*note…the term used: was…it took me a long time to hit the past tense button*…my girlfriends have mentioned the ‘rebound’ fling and have urged me to take the initiative and leave with the tall, dark handsome stranger who tickles my fancy – after all, they say the only way to get over someone is to get under another, right! Wrong…a man must have come up with that saying…honestly…do you really believe a few minutes *or in some cases seconds* would change months of heartbreak and wash away the tears that stained your sheets…only a woman would fall for that! I hate to generalize but you’re a fool if you believe that and I don’t believe that a one night stand would make it all feel better! Hence, I’ve not done the rebound fling…I find it quite gross and degrading…my past love doesn’t deserve to be made to ‘feel better’ by some stranger who I’ll probably never see again…it deserves a lot more preservation and respect!

No, Grey had it right…"you can’t have sex with a man without having feelings for him…your heart is in your vagina"…and I’m afraid that’s the case for the fairer of the sexes…we’re destined to wishful thinking, dreamed up scenarios of 2nd, 3rd and 10th dates and low and behold, the day that guy uses the 10-digit number to call you back to ‘get to know you better and take you out for a proper date’. Fantasies…what would women do without them…we’d have an awful lot of time on our hands that we wouldn’t know what to do with…well I can think of one thing!

One night stands or non-emotional sex…call it what you like…would you ever do it or do it again?!?

Over and out y’all!

KaB

A full diary...

Oh imagine the joys of having the pleasure of being pleasured by one of these gentlemen...I am ever thankful that the WC game I've got tickets to will more than likely play host to Spain vs. Portugal if the tables go according to the bookies' favourites!



Best I rearrange my schedule for these bad boys - it gives beauty sleep a new meaning :)

Over and out!

KaB

Goodbye and good luck Gordon Brown!

By George...UK Politics is going to be interesting today!

Over and out!

KaB

pickadate.co.za

Right, this blog is stagnant and boring and I have just the ticket to take me back to funky town...365 dates in 365 days. Pretty cool concept with very exciting prospects...what you think?!?

It hasn't been done before and it's pretty much a recipe for fun and social disaster but eh...what else is a single girl going to do to get 'sex in the city'?!? Trick is to get this ball rolling via networking and spamming the hell out of friends, foes and god knows who else...the more you click, the more viable the date I suppose. And let's be honest...I don't want no frog or Prince Charming for that matter - by george you saw what he looked like in Shrek - you have the control, so get clicking! You get to choose who I date each night and I get to report back with no strings attached and the morning after, no holding back and spilling all the details on what not to wear or who not to do on a date in the city.

We need eligible bachelors...men...guys...you know the type! Send their details...hook them up...bring it on! If anything, it's just a fun social experiment that could go either really, really bad or end up on the lucky 4th date (it is universally known that the 4th date is the key to a women's chastity belt...well, apparently) and you get to watch, prod, comment and click on it all.

Know anyone man enough to make the first move?!? You've got to apply via 365 dates in 365 days to get it on...watch this space for more info!

Over and out.

KaB

Is that my conscience?!?

Vegetarianism!

It used to be a foreign concept…not after reading ‘Eating Animals’ by Jonathan Safran Foer. I am genuinely freaked out and on a meat sabbatical. Do you know that 99% of the meat consumed in the US is factory farmed…only 1% is farmed by family-run businesses! To put it into perspective, wiki defines it as

"Factory farming is the practice of raising livestock in confinement at high stocking density, where a farm operates as a factory — a practice typical in industrial farming"

So think thousands of chickens stocked high on top of one another in cages the size of their bodies or pigs and cows squeezed tight together with no space to move…so basically they live in their excrements, eat in the same place and don’t get to see the light of day…literally! It’s a cruel, cruel practise and has sent my world topsy-turvy! If you knew me, you’d know that a medium-rare fillet is my choice off of any menu…not anymore!

Another frightening fact – in our lifetime, we will see the eradication of the seas’ populations! Yes, you read correctly…due to the methods and frequency of commercial fishing, thousands and thousands of animals are dying at the expense of our want to eat seafood. I’ll be honest, I can’t give up both seafood and meat, one at a time, but the thought of eating seafood is turning my conscience into a battle zone! Tuna fishing is the number one cause of the near extinction of 145 species in the ocean…you can include the different species of dolphin, whale, shark, turtle, rays, fish, gulls and sea horses into that equation – they’re all facing the chop!

And it’s all because our taste buds are tickled at the thought of say sushi…or…even Friday night fish ‘n chips!

Do yourselves a favour…read this book…it’ll blow you away with facts that are unimaginable, and honesty that will send you reeling with shame and disgust at the way we live! Surely some day, at some point, karma will bite us in the arse – a scary notion to say the least!

It’s ironic that we’re celebrating ‘Human Rights Day’ on Monday 21 March 2010 yet can’t even take the time to point the finger at ourselves and acknowledge the cruelty that we’re inflicting on nature!

On a lighter note:

Change is in the air…work…hair…the distance I run…eating habits (as per the above)…an exciting and scary notion indeed!

I got hit on the other day…he was cute…a 7.5/10…he asked me if I wanted a stuk of his wors (in reference to dry wors)…that’s a new one for the books!

Enjoy the weekend y’all...be safe and think twice about what you’re eating!

KaB

Piss: being the typical hypocrite that I am...sushi is on the menu for tonight! *But I won't enjoy it like I've done so previously...bugger*

...the other side of 25...

So another astrological year has come and gone...being on the other side of 25 is a shock to the system...4 more years and I'm 30...christ alive!!! How the hell do people that age cope knowing that the 20s are gone?!?

**note: new life motto: put on your dancing heels, get out there and have fun**

I had a revelation the other day too...that ex person who was so much a part of my life...he got a major slap across the face and geez louise did it feel good! He deserved every painful inch of it. Needless to say, it was followed by smses labelling me a psycho and what not. Let's just leave it at this: strange that another previous girlfriend was labelled a psycho...I wish I had taken a minute to decipher this and think 'mmm...why was she labelled that and was she really such a person?!?' She could have had every logical reason to do what she did (as I did) yet it was spun into some psychotic web...just as my situation was! It's strange how people can have the wool pulled over the eyes...sometimes things aren't as black and white as they seem! Whatever...moving on has been the greatest relief ever and realising that I deserve much better is most welcome too! That said, shame on him for already moving along to some next conquest...funny how pouring out your emotions and telling me just how much love there was can be ignored a few weeks later and jumping into the sack with another person is as easy as 1...2...3!

What was once a cherished memory is now a tainted image of what probably shouldn't have been! One thing is for sure: lessons have been learnt and I won't be picking any old fish out of the ocean...I want to land me a whale...once I'm done partying it up like a rockstar and having a good old time out there!

So...to start off my new astrological year I thought I'd intro you to the things I intend on doing before 28 February 2011:

1. Run the 2 Oceans and Knysna Half Marathons
2. Go crayfishing regularly with my dad...wetsuit is in check, license too!
3. Freelance my writing...a few ideas are in the process of implementation and I'm looking forward to getting my name out there...keep a lookout for this!!!
4. Go kloofing
5. Orange River Canoe Trip during September/ October *can't wait to do this again*
6. Drop 2 dress sizes...training has already begun! *goals for the year ahead wouldn't be the same without the cliched diet regime...I stand by my goal though*
7. Visit NYC and do the whole SATC thing!
8. Change my hairstyle...because I can and it's fun!
9. Meet more new and interesting people...it came to a stop recently...I'm now rebooting the system and developing strategic outing sessions to get this one up and going.
10. Follow my dreams...writing...animals...the outdoors...whatever I can do and get my hands on in respect of these, I'm going to do!
11. 2010 FIFA World Cup - have the tickets for a Round 16 game...*whoop, whoop*...I will be part of this most amazing event SA will see!
12. *Score* with a rugby player (why not get cheeky and ballsy too)
13. Get more involved with local politics...how I don't know but I definitely want to take advantage of democracy and the freedom to speak up...I'm tired of sitting around commenting rather than actioning!
14. Write music, play music, do more concerts!
15. Enjoy the fruits of Cape Town **FYI: more wine** while still having fun doing all of the above!

**whoop**...here's to being 26!

Rock the funbus y'all!

Over & out