Out and about the other night enroute to the Spain vs. Portugal game I met a pro golfer...*cha-ching*!
My imagination was fast put to bed when wannabe dad mentioned he was at the ripe old age of 59 years old...*in all fairness to him, it wasn't like he didn't look it though...I should've gurgled, dribbled and sucked my thumb...perhaps then he'd have not considered approaching a girl 33 years younger than him*! Images of dried up raisins and pharmacy-stocked bathroom cabinets threatened to make my feet run a mile but I was 'fortunately' tied to a draught and left my ego open to being chatted up and flirted with!
For what benefit I have no clue?!?
Wannabe Sugadaddy: You look Spanish...*wink, wink...slides closer to me*
KaB: *oh for fucks sake*...Thanks but I'm not...*continues talking to sister*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: Well you definitely look Spanish with your colouring *at this point he's checking me out bottom to top, eyebrow raised*...are you sure you're not from Spain?!?
KaB: *Let me just double check my passport*...Where do you want me to be from...*couldn't help but play with him*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: *chuckles under his breath*
KaB: I'm from here...Cape Town...lucky you! *by this point I've put out all the negative body language...standing slightly away from him, arms folded*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: From Cape Town...no ways, I could've sworn you were from Spain. I mean look at you! *moves closer*...What do you do?!?
KaB: *I play the castanets! ROFL*...What do you want me to do?!? *god, I mean really...what is wrong with me...I can't even flirt properly with a balie!*
Wannabe Sugadaddy: *now laughing heartily*...mmm...*probably now thinking what he would do with me*...so how old are you?!?
KaB: *not old enough for you obviously*...26!
Wannabe Sugadaddy: Jackpot! I'm probably older than your own dad!
KaB: Probably...how old are you then?!?
Wannabe Sugadaddy: 59!
KaB: Ja, you are...g'bye!
Seriously...are there any men worth talking to and where the hell do lovely young ladies looking for a good time find you?!?
If they're not gay (which is unfortunate because 99% of gay men are wonderful and the perfect catch)...they're either loners, unambitious, slap-stick funny, unstable, boring, unsporty, unintelligent, boep-ridden, non-reading, unoriginal, porn-watching, old, disrespectful and completely chauvenistic in every way...absolutely nothing like the man I'm attracted to!
*not that I'm looking or anything!
Women no longer only have to consider taking a condom out with them...you now have to take the little blue V pills just in case you land yourself a bachelor double your age! Hey, at least you go prepared!
Over and out y'all!
KaB
MWHAHAHA that is truly hilarious. I am not sure where they hide having been out the game, but I can defo tell you you do NOT have to start carrying the blue pills with you!! They will come... without the need for pills :)
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